Cubs Closer Tryouts: Anyone But Marmol

We need help at Closer. Marmol is out. He shouldn’t have ever been in. What if we could have open tryouts? Who would you suggest to the Cubs? What about these for fun?

10. Gandalf – He always brings the fireworks

9. James Bond – But only if its Sean Connery

8. Rocky – In a trade with the Phillies

7. Jason Bourne – Get some rest Pam; You look tired (insert dramatic music here)

6. Darth Vader – He has a cool voice for interviews

5. Superman – Oh wait, he has a weakness

4. Jack Bauer – He can hurt someone to get what he wants

3. Thor – Who can hit a hammer from the gods?

2. James T. Kirk – He always wins in the end and gets the girl (even if she is green)

And, the number one person who should try out for the Cubs Closer:

1. Chuck Norris – He’s Chuck Norris


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